MONDAY MORNING MAKEUP #1: Chit Chat GRWM Light Fall Makeup | Life Update & Advice, Quitting YT

MONDAY MORNING MAKEUP #1: Chit Chat GRWM Light Fall Makeup | Life Update & Advice, Quitting YT

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hey guys welcome back to my freaking
room if you hear any background noise it is very windy today it is definitely
fall now two days ago it was 90 degrees today’s like 60 something almost 70
anyways I am starting a new series on my channel it’s going to be called Monday
morning makeup and we’re just gonna get ready on Mondays together I don’t know
for how long I’m gonna keep this up but there are three reasons I want to start
this series on my channel the first one is I film all my videos in the same day
and that’s just how I get by uploading so many videos per week I didn’t mention
in my update video last time that I was only gonna do like twice a week I don’t
know I’ve been doing three times a week just because I want to get those
Amsterdam vlogs out but I will eventually go back to two because I have
been studying German sometimes two sometimes is three that’s just why on my
channel art or channel banner it doesn’t have like a specific schedule it’s just
like new videos every week the second reason is just to relax into the week
and maybe it will help me like Mondays a little bit more you know and it’ll give
us a way to chat some updates here and there life sucks okay life sucks but
it’s good to talk about it and it’s gonna give me a reason to get a little
bit creative or just use up my makeup products I’m looking forward to using up
like all my makeup products and getting rid of so many things just so I can
really start to simplify my life even more I’m so stressed out and I think a
lot of it just still has to do with the fact that I have so much stuff in my
collection let’s just get into the video before he gets really long and I really
hate filming for so long and sitting on my computer and editing I’ve just been
really stressed out though I guess this is kind of like an update I didn’t
expect to come back home from two months in Germany and one week in Amsterdam by
the way my vlogs are all up on my channel I have three up so far I’ll link
the playlist in the description box by the way I’m just gonna like breathe
through my base makeup and stuff everything will be linked in the
description box I’ve been so many get ready with me videos and my base makeup
like never changes so if you want to know what products I’m using just go to
the description box so okay so I didn’t expect to come back
after kind of like a vacation it was like one of the most stressful vacations
I’ve had in a long time and I know that sounds so weird but you know sometimes
vacations are just really stressful especially when you go to Disney World
okay but I didn’t go to Disney where all this time obviously I came back and I’ve
been having a lot of family problems and it’s affected me so much that I don’t
even remember when it started I want to say it started last week and it’s been
so bad because I am so affected by things that happen with my family
because I’ve always valued family more than anything else and because I grew up
with my cousins and going to my grandma’s house every weekend it really
helped me to be a better friend and I always valued my friendships with people
so to just see my family kind of just falling apart within I don’t know the
past week it’s just taken a toll on me I haven’t slept well since then I haven’t
stopped talking about how stressed I am to my husband and you know when you’re
stressing out so much and you’re constantly talking about it it not only
puts stress on you but it puts stress on your partner that’s just so unfair to
him because he’s just so freaking tired all the time and he’s lucky that he can
actually fall asleep but you know to have me as his wife constantly keeping
him up at night and talking to him about all this crap that’s been going on I
just feel so bad so bad I feel like I’m just taking out all of my stress out on
him and it’s just not fair so I’ve been trying to just take it day by day and
not let it get to me so much that I just end up ruining my relationship with my
husband just a little more specifically like my grandpa is in the hospital and
he used to babysit me when I was a small just like from baby to toddler he used
to take me in the school to for my first couple of years so it’s been really hard
on me I haven’t visited because I just remember the last time he was in the
hospital I just couldn’t do it but you know felt obligated to go cuz you know
you just do that for family but when I got there and
I saw him I just bawled my eyes out I couldn’t keep myself together
fast-forward all these years to know that he’s just not gonna be here for
much longer I can’t do that the guilt of not
visiting him is weighing on me really really hard I kind of know what to do
it’s just do I want to do it or not you know my eyebrows are so messed up I
don’t even care anymore so I’ve just been taking it day by day
basically that’s just like the best we can all do you know I hope you guys have
been doing well I want to thank you guys for being here whoever is still here I
mean I kind of wish I had that audience that would just comment on my videos and
just I don’t know talk to me but I know that you guys are still watching so
thank you for being here and for listening to me and watching my videos I
mean my watch time is actually pretty bad because that’s actually the most
important thing that you need to worry about if you’re on YouTube and you’re
just wanting to grow and stuff your numbers don’t really matter it’s always
for how long do people watch your videos and for me it’s pretty bad so I don’t
know whatever just thanks to whoever is watching my videos from start to finish
and it’s actually listening to me that’s nice too because sooner or later I’m
gonna say it I will be quitting YouTube because it just doesn’t do anything for
me anymore it’s like a lot of people are like don’t do YouTube don’t do twitch
don’t do anything on social media if you want money because it’s just not gonna
come and to me that is just a load of crap people work so hard to try to make
their dreams come true and just to hear that is already like then why am I even
bothering you know because you put in so much work just to not get anything
really and yes you know of course I’m so grateful that I get to do this stuff and
that I’ve interacted with some of you guys and for you to tell me that you’ve
been watching me and I’ve been helping you like seriously I just couldn’t ask
for anything more but you know it’s the whole like why don’t I get paid for this
because I work so hard but you know that’s just a reality of it it’s really
not easy to be honest okay I’m being honest being old and Asian on the
Internet I just don’t know what to do
with that you know it’s so funny it’s so weird to say I just I don’t know what to
do being Asian but that’s just the reality and it sucks
so eventually I will be not here anymore and am i sad about it of course I’m sad
about it because this is like the most freedom I’ve had but I don’t want you to
think that I’ve just been taking this whole thing for granted I mean I don’t
know why you would be thinking that but it’s just on my conscience I guess it
just seems like wow you just have so much time on your hands or something I
don’t know where I’m getting at but it’s been so stressful just because people
are doing this and it seems like they have so much timer in their hands I mean
they’re really just trying to make this work and the reality is that what 3/4 of
people will fall off it’s like a 1% in the world and it’s definitely on 1% on
YouTube or anywhere on the internet you try to be consistent and you try to do
your best and just man it just doesn’t work so then a lot of people end up
becoming sellouts just to get views just to get where they thought they were
gonna get when they first started and I just don’t want to do that I just don’t
want to have to resort to such extremes like that just to be recognized and I
don’t want to lose myself in the process I mean it’s gonna be pretty sad for me
to not be here anymore but it’s just not sustainable and I’m married now
eventually I don’t know at this point but I might want to have kids and
obviously you’re not making any money doesn’t help that and I’m so unhappy you
know at the end of the day you really just have to look out for yourself and
do what’s best for you and I don’t regret my journey here I just wish it
wasn’t like this you know I’m gonna put a little bit of this blush Heather silk
from went wild I wanted to talk about what kind of cruelty-free person I am
but I think I should just save that for another video cuz I don’t want this
video to get so much longer than it already got man I didn’t even think I
was gonna go on some rant about YouTube again but I hate this place I hate being
on social media it’s just the most stress I’ve ever felt in my life but I
think if you want to be on YouTube one day or anywhere on the Internet and this
is your dream don’t give up on it and my biggest tip to you is just to create
don’t stop whatever you want to do just put it out there it doesn’t matter you
know the formulas don’t matter don’t get caught up and trying to be
someone else because you think that that’s gonna work it’s never going to
work if you try to be someone that you’re not and sometimes I think you
know when you work really hard you try really hard you do everything that you
can and it just doesn’t work out it’s not the end of the world because the
world is just full of opportunities it’s just up to you to not give up and that’s
the kind of fun in life it’s just to try different things because you just never
know what’s good for you you might have just started YouTube because you thought
that it was gonna work out but it might end up pushing you into something that
you never thought you were gonna do and you might end up falling in love with it
so just keep going with whatever you’re doing and everything will be fine at
least that’s what I tell myself okay I think I went a little bit too crazy with
my blush but I don’t even care I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with my
makeup like at all I think I’m just getting really caught
up in talking to you guys by the way all the makeup products that I am using in
this video they were shown in my curating my fall makeup bag video that I
did I think a couple weeks ago so I’ll link that in the description box but I
will tell you what products I use in the description box so onto the eyes let me
just spray here I don’t know what do you guys think
just a nice glowy base I got my like fall themed blush here I mean I wish
this was more of I don’t know I guess this is a mauve color but a little more
on the berry side I wanted something a little more purple that’s okay I will
not be buying a blush that is Mothe because I just I can’t it’s gonna weigh
I’m like on my conscious to have some more makeup and I really shouldn’t have
any more let me just say one more thing I absolutely hate putting on makeup when
I film or like when I have to film because I mean why why do I have to put
makeup on do videos now it’s like this obligation to always look I don’t know
your best on camera I get it I just don’t know why I’ll have to do it all
the time because I’m just gonna take this off in like an hour anyway that’s a
waste I’m wearing this tank top from Banana Republic and got it so many years
ago I can’t ever link my clothes by the way but I think I’m gonna use my modern
renaissance palette by Anastasia Beverly Hills you guys know this is my favorite
palette ever I don’t know try to come up with some look that
matches my green shirt I don’t even know if I have a palette that has a green
shadow in it like I want to say yes and I used it I think like two years ago in
a video I’m gonna have to look for that I think I do have a green shadow but
this one is kind of similar to my shirt this is the color pop bouncy super shock
shadow it’s an ultra glitter mention this like I had no idea this was a
glitter it looks like an eyeshadow when I bought it I mean it is a shadow but I
didn’t know it was glitters oh yeah first I’m just gonna pry my eye not
primate what do you call that I’m just gonna put a base color on god I haven’t
filmed in like what feels like a million years so I just I don’t even know what
I’m talking about anymore this is just how much I care about
makeup you know what I’m saying all the things that I’ve been doing lately is a
no to how many apps I give now so this shadow is called tempura and that’s
gonna go all over my lids just to make blending a lot easier I’m gonna go in
with the next shade next to it which is golden ochre and just lightly put that
in my crease I think this shadow is very light I love
this palette so much the formula is so amazing of every single shadow that I’ve
used in here and I’ve used all of them actually and I’ve had this for two years
now and it’s just without a fail the palette that I go to for any look
basically but it’s definitely the perfect palette to use in the fall and
winter it just has romantic colors and I feel
like this time of year to me is so freaking and romantic I’m not really
sure again what I’m gonna do with this look it seems like it’s pretty light I
don’t know if I’m gonna go in with any other color maybe a little bit of raw
Sienna which is this really nice crease shade and I’m just gonna put that a
little bit more into my crease just for a little bit of warmth because the
eyeshadows are already so cool and I like having a lot of warmth to my eye
and I just always run it on my lower flying just so everything looks really
cohesive all the shadows are just so easy to blend it’s kind of like you
could be messy if you wanted to okay well I think that’s good enough for me
I’m just I’m tired already I’m gonna go in with this shadow now Oh God it dried
this is more like a topper not a shadow but it is really pigmented and
definitely when I bought it for the first time and used it it was really
pigmented I never knew that this would dry out god I love natural lighting so
much is so annoying whoa hey guys really I’m gonna take this brush and
just blend it I’m gonna take the wet and wild highlighter that I use on my face
and just put it on my inner corner you know I hate this because it never stays
we’re gonna put some under my brow and then I’m gonna line my lashline with
this eggplant color it has like metallic stuff in it it is metallic
I just don’t link my liners anymore because you just can’t get anything that
I have anymore I just don’t buy stuff and of course if
I can’t keep up with the times and I’m stuck with these eyeliners that I’ve had
for life for years you’re most likely not gonna be able to find them anymore
so I don’t even bother by the way I don’t even tightline anymore I don’t put
eyeliner up here because I’m just so frickin oily and it does nothing good
for me if I want to look like a panda I would do it but I don’t want to look
like a panda so I don’t do it anymore you know what’s so funny every time I do
my makeup in my room like this and then I finished filming I go to the bathroom
to take it off and I realized that one eyebrow is different than the other one
and also my eyeliner one eye looks different than the other seriously this
is just how many FS I give now I just learned to just have fun you know enjoy
yourself and be kind to people and cherish your family cherish your friends
Church the people in your life that cherish you because the reality is life
sucks but it doesn’t have to be like that all the time as long as you make it
what you want so you know that the Urban Decay petite heat palette that’s my
other favorite eyeshadow palette I love using the purple color in there to set
my purple eyeliner any purple eyeliner I have I always use the purple in here but
in the case of a purple eyeliner like this
I will use another shadow from another palette so this video is pretty long I’m
sorry I’m also sorry to myself because I have to edit that freaking thing by the
way if you guys like my new background I love how my camera is focusing on it
instead of me but I guess I just don’t matter I just changed it up a little bit
it’s actually really annoying for me to put that up I’m just gonna use this
mascara this is the essence lash princess sculpted Volume Mascara I do
not like this mascara and I say that a lot for mascaras that I use for the
first time because the formula is so wet and because I don’t use waterproof
mascara any new mascara that I use just makes my lashes complete so I have to
use it for I don’t know how many times before the formula starts to dry out and
then it pretty much just makes my eyelashes look okay so I don’t like this
right now but I can tell that the formula is
drying out a little bit so it’s making application a lot easier for me and my
eyelashes actually look pretty curled what’s up my stomach did you hear that
it sounded like my stomach but also a Skype notification I don’t know if you
guys heard that oh okay I just got mascara like right there but whatever it
doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter okay I am so sick and
tired of trying to be perfect alright I guess you can see that now my lashes
look pretty good the formula finally dried out a little
bit so it’s getting better I’m just gonna blot a little bit off so I can put
on my lip product by the way before I was using these your number one your
Attucks lip glow I’m actually surprised how nice it is it’s probably like one of
the best spent twenty-something bucks but my like what $3 lip balm is just
crazy good but I do like that it kind of tints the lips you know it’s supposed to
work with your chemistry and turn the color of your lips into you know it’s
perfect shade it’s nice and moisturizing you’re very waxy feeling so for the lips
I don’t know what to use because I have a lot of lip products and I am so bad
with makeup I have no idea how to pair my eye makeup to my lips it’s such a
light fall kind of look that I don’t know I think you can go a little bit
more bold with your lips I say bold and then I pull out this like
piece the nude color maybe like this this is bite beauty’s
Matt cream lip crayon crayon in glass eh I don’t know it looks it don’t want me
but it is a really nice color and it’s awesome that it has a point so if you
want to be more precise you can do it it’s like your lipliner and lipstick in
one okay I’m gonna let my hair down because that’s just what people on
YouTube do this is gonna be Monday morning makeup number one number two is
obviously gonna go up next Monday and then all of these subsequent Monday’s
after that and I really hope that you guys enjoy chatting with me and getting
ready with me so subscribe to see more Monday morning makeup videos I will also
have the rest of my Amsterdam vlogs coming up this month if you’re wanting a
more like statement bold makeup look for the fall then I will link that video
that I did last year I think in the description box or you
can catch it in my end screen and watch it next


  1. Wow that is a lot of work you ladies have to go through but you looked amazing at the end so it was worth it.
    BTW guess you know it but I'll say it anyway, I care!

  2. Ever considering doing a video sharing one or two of your favorite memories of your grandparents? Then you could have your viewers share one of their favorite memories with their grandparents or mentor in their lives.

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